Went home and asked her to go for a walk so we could calm down. This seemed to work. By the end we were rather friendly. I showed her all the accounts last night. She gave a check (from her new checking account) to a landlord for a security deposit to hold an apartment.
Last night after the conversation we ended up ML. I am not sure how it happened, but I am a guy that has needs. Afterward, she left the bed to go sleep with MIL. She said she didn't need to be any more confused than she already was.
The process is called "tagging". I've read quite a bit about it, specifically about women who leave their husbands to pursue affairs with other men. To get what they need from their husbands while these women are actively pursuing affairs & relationships with other men, they will sleep with their husbands to lull them into a fake sense of security. You called it making love because you (and men in general) associate sex with love when you are with wife. It made you feel more secure momentarily but it actually probably did more harm than good.
When she wants something from you, she will give you sex. She is exercising her control over you and it's working quite well apparently. Don't believe me? Good I welcome a challenge. Document this instance and the past several instances when you ML with your wife recently if she ended up getting something she needed from you. Document also when she says that she is confused after having sex with you, document if she sleeps in the bed with you to stay close with you after ML or if she leaves the bed for you to be alone afterwards. Document when she wants something from you, gets angry at you, turns things around and makes it your fault and somehow you end up apologizing.
Seems very analytical but humor me & yourself.
Also, try this if you're up for a challenge. The next time she wants to "ML" with you (have sex), refuse. Tell her you are confused and don't think you can have sex with her anymore. Document her reaction - maybe the first time she won't make a big deal of it but when you start holding back a few times after that, I'm betting she will get angry - she will use sex as a means to control you, or "tag" you. Refusing sex with her will make you more attractive to her - you will be communicating that you aren't conquered, you aren't waiting for the morsels & scraps of "love" she throws at you. Playing hard to get is very attractive - don't believe me? Your wife is playing that game right now and you want her back sooner than yesterday.
Just because she wiggles her ass in front of you doesn't mean you have to bite it. You're smarter than a fish, don't just bite that hook everytime you see it.
Yes you're a man and you have needs. I'm a man too, don't tell me about needs, I think about sex 90 seconds of every minute, exercise some control, you'll survive LOL!
You've been warned about this "tagging" process now, look for the signs. You have nothing to lose at this point and pretty much everything to gain, start doing some homework, you have a long road ahead of you, stop doing what doesn't work and start doing what does work.
