Cloudnine please feel free to ignore my advice. I said this because I don't like to hear about you feeling so miserable. I'm no expert on Marriage tho if I give advise it should probably come with some kind of a health warning!! I mostly like to advise people to be forgiving of their partners mistakes. I don't know why I don't feel this way about your sitch. Well perhaps I do I just don't think you should let yourself get hurt. When I talk about detachment I don't mean you shouldn't see her. Check out this advice from JJ LRT advice I think this is the sort of thing you could be aiming for.
