I just want to say I can relate to your situation very much. Although my husband has moved out, I find that the best is to avoid R talks unless he brings them up. Just being in the house doing my own thing, even when it's really hard sometimes gets him to come around. Just like you he hung around and watched a tv show with me on the couch and laughed for the first time in a long time.
I also find - and this may or may not work in your sitch - that if he does bring up the R talks (I'm letting him do it b/c I don't want to plead, convince, etc which goes nowhere) I listen and don't talk. Very hard for me, a talker. But I have noticed him thawing when I try really hard to hear his point of view and let him know he is important to me, his feelings are important to me, and his life is important to me. This has been really critical for us, because he will just clam up if I am "pusuing" with all my wants and desires and needs.
It's really hard to put all your needs and desires on hold and keep them quiet, but I just try to be there from my heart for him wherever he is at. He's come around a bit from this. All the R talking was chasing him away. Even though it seems backwards, if it helps make them more comfortable around us, that is a good sign! Good luck!
