UPSIDE DOWN and struggling badly.

[Eskimo Nell]

Will listen to your good advice - and put a facepack on too!

My cat is fighting for desk space here and putting her nose in my face to kiss her! Thank goodness for our 'creature' comforts, eh?

What are you up to today?? More packing or something nice for (((Oz))).

[girlfromoz]

Just at work, nothing exciting. Don't talk about packing, the house is no further packed than last Saturday. S says don't worry, it'll happen. Think it will be an all nighter Thursday night packing.

[Eskimo Nell]

Wish that I could come and help you - doesn't seem right when I have all this lonely time on my hands and you could do with a spare pair!

Just got the ironing out ... that should kill an hour :o)

[girlfromoz]

I'll send my ironing over to you as well if you like, I so hate the ironing.

[Eskimo Nell]

It's a thankless task but I always feel better when it's done! Just been paying some bills and the third thing to break the mould has just occurred! My interview for tomorrow has been postponed.

Now, I have once again probably taken the wrong action but as H doesn't believe a word that I say lately, I forwarded the advisory email from said interviewer to him. I also gave him the option of changing the evening for him to come down if tonight was not so convenient, explaining that the urgency is off regarding the car. He has not yet responded and I shall not follow it up. (I feared that he would just think that I had made up the story of the interview to get him to visit) Mrs. Paranoia is here again!

OK - off to get this ironing done, the face pack and hair (for me anyhow) and then check in again before he is due to arrive! Will need a pep talk, I'm sure. Keep calm, keep calm - geez, why do we get like this??

[dolphin_05]

Ok Nell. I know meditation has been difficult in the past but now i think you need to tell yourself, "take time to breathe" and then slowly inhale and exhale a few times. Deep breathing will definitely help you to calm down a little. Don't beat up on yourself about the convo with H. You are coming from a position of anxiety and that has a significant effect on your response to H. He will feed off your anxiety and that makes for greater problems. Try to plan your responses ahead before you see him just to make them a little less emotive.

(((((Nell)))))

[dolphin_05]

PS I like that you told him that the car was no longer such an urgency. That gives you greater credibility.

[girlfromoz]

Nell, an important rule is to post any thoughts you have on answering emails etc before you do it, even if it takes a while to get an answer from someone. That way you won't be so emotional once you do send a reply and as Cas said he is feeding of your anxiety and we can't have that happen.

I don't do anything before I run it past my friends here. This has put me in greater control of myself and the situation. I am sure others would agree.

[Eskimo Nell]

Thanks (((Cas))) - especially to know that, at last, I have done something that's right ... like tell H that the car is less urgent! He has still not responded to that email, which I find remarkable as his work is at his computer all day (save maybe that he could be at a meeting) but now my head and heart are fighting - his treating me so badly makes my head say *la, la, la - expletives of the unrepeatable kind* whilst my heart screams not to give up and continues to love unconditionally. What's a girl supposed to do?? I'm so torn and feel that I should tell him to take a running jump ... but ... well, you know how it goes.

[Eskimo Nell]

OK - I hear you - I shall try my very best to take that advice and do just so from now on. If it ain't tried out here first, it don't get done. So, can you all come around tonight please -about 6pm should do it!!