I think it is definitely harder in some ways to DB when they are around at home. It is hard to always keep up the positive attitude, etc. If it is MLC, they need space to figure themselves out so I have tried to give him as much of that as I can so he doesn't feel "pushed" out by seeking it. I don't ask where he has been/when he will be back, anything like that. Usually when he comes in the most I ask is how his day was unless it is in direct response to something he already says. I also don't follow him around. Things are more relaxed between us now so I don't leave the room if he is there or anything like that. When I am on the phone with friends when he is home I make sure to always sound happy and upbeat.
Yes, no snooping. It will drive you crazy to always be searching for something and what you find may be hard to handle.
Keep reading and it wouldn't hurt to ask the doctor for antidepressants if you feel they would help.
I do still do my H's laundry. I don't mind and I am doing mine and the kids' anyway. He also usually eats the dinner I fix (though not always with us). Again, I have to fix it anyway. I have stopped doing pretty much everything else, though. I have decided until he treats me like a wife I won't act like one.
The most important thing for you to do is to take care of YOU. Initially I think most/all of us start the DB-ing techniques to get our spouses back but soon realize they are just better for us. Try to get out of the house. Make plans with friends. Try something new you have been wanting to. Exercise. Eat healthy. Get sleep.
Take things one day at a time. The fear of the future and the unknown can take your breath away if you let it so just concentrate on the now. It will get easier, I promise. As your name suggests, let God be your rock. He will. He will give you the strength you need.
I'm fading fast here, its getting late and I can't think anymore.:) Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
