He was home all day on saturday. I kept thinking any minute he was going to up and leave but he didn't. We had a nice day. We made ice cream sundaes in the afternoon, and made dinner together in the evening. We even ended up watching a movie together. Then we went off to our separate rooms. (sigh)
Then came sunday... Not so good. (sigh) He got on the Harley around 9:00 and was gone for hours. Just before he left, I could hear him talking to someone on his cell in the bedroom. I don't think he was talking to skank, since he has never done this before. He finally rolled in at about 5:00. A rainstorm was moving in, so he probably wanted to get home before it hit. I don't know if he was in town, or was out of town and made it home just in time before the storm. I made dinner, and he ate. I was surprised, as I thought if he had been with the skank he would have ate with her.
Then I got an idea! I was surprised I never thought of this before. On our Harley, there are foot rests for the passenger. They turn up out of the way, when there is no passenger. Last time he came home on the bike the foot rests were up. So I thought, if they were riding together they might be down. I decided I wasn't going to look that night. I wasn't up to the heartache. I even told myself I wouldn't look when I left for work the next morning. The bike is parked next to my car in the garage. Well... I go to get in my car, and I take a quick glance! Foot rests were left down. (sigh) Needless to say, I had a sad ride to work that morning. I was sad all day. He even came home last night later than he had recently been. He was hungry though. He made himself a plate of what I had for dinner, and even ate it in the livingroom where I was. He is late again tonight. (sigh)
I can't figure him out. But I guess none of us can figure our H's out. He comes close, he moves back. I don't like this dance.
I read something in the MLC archives tonight. Someone wrote... When is my H going to realize ow is Fools Gold and I am the Real Gold.
I pulled myself right back out of the pit, and am staying strong. I am going to treat H like I did when we first met. A friend. I did not pursue him then, and I will not now either. I will just continue to be nice to him whenever he is around. Maybe one day H will wonder "what in the world am I doing." Maybe one day H will wonder "what am I losing." Maybe one day H will wonder" how did I lose her." Maybe one day H will wonder" where did she go."
