I don't know if he really signed a lease or not yet. The lease is for his apt ( I own my own home). I wanted him to stay on a month to month lease to give us some flexibility. He says it costs too much for his budget. I am beginning to realize that when he said he was thinking about delaying our move, that he was just angry and when I took him seriously he got more angry. Stalling is an interesting word, yesterday he showed up at work without his ring on - I called last night to ask him if that indicated his intention is final. He kept putting the question back on me but I stuck to confronting him about it and he said he wasn't sure. He sited his reasons as related to last week's episode. I cut him off b/c I didn't want to continue the argument and just let him know that I heard his answer. He called back later and left a message saying that if makes me feel better he will wear the ring. I didn't respond. I am trying to remind myself that he is still in his first year of recovery and has a lot to deal with in therapy before trying to work out our marriage.(Meaning that there will be no marriage to work out if doesn't stay sober and learn to control his anger) He was showing great progress,and it just feels like last week's episode was out of nowhere AND he is still angry about it. Everything was getting worked out, problem resolution was happening, and he was trusting me more than ever. I know it is easy for others to think that I was just seeing what I wanted to see, but I am not that type of person. I tend to be pretty solid in my assessments of people and situations.
My thoughts don't really matter right now - I was wrong and it really hurts, and I need to take care of myself. I will let him figure out his part. I have decided at this point to set a deadline of Feb. for myself and then file if things haven't progressed significantly. I have very little hope at this point - the guy keeps leaving me - I don't care if he it b/c of his drinking or his anger - he is running out of excuses and time as far as I am concerned.
I just really hate how I feel - it hurts as much as one can imagine.
