Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

It all started with something small (as they often do) and escalated into an argument about how arguing for our positions is carried out.

I revealed to her that there are a number of topics that I don't discuss with her any longer simply because I'm tired of having to justify myself, my view, if all thats going to happen is that she is going to dismiss it and me. I gave her some specific examples and pointed out that she had the stage to herself and even that was not enough (and she had not noticed that she was alone on that stage of opinion).

What bothered her was that I could (and did) cite specific statistics in terms of what was said, when, and how many times she did X. She resented that I "counted" and she didn't know I was counting. She tried the how would you like it if... reversal.

Would not bother me in the slightest, I replied. My being who I am has nothing to do with statistics. I didn't think to point out that in her profession she observes behind a one-way mirror in certain situations (why?). She replied she could just make stuff up, but I pointed out that if she "counted" and told me what the count was, I could evaluate whether she was making stuff up or not. Finally, I asked, are you telling me that you'd act differently if you knew I was counting. She gave me a maybe. So which is real?

She was upset that I chose to stop talking about certain issues and so has stopped speaking to me in retaliation.

But she is angry about it and after a week or so, I can point out how that has felt to her and then will ask her to imagine what that has been like for me for the past 23 years.

I have no expectation that it will accomplish anything.