Drawing a line and grabbing the seeds!

[cire2]

And that’s when the fight started......





My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while

we were

in bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she

answered.



I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look

at me

this time, simply saying "Yes."



So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."



And that's when the fight started....





************************************************************************



I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"



It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.



So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"



And that's when the fight started....





***********************************************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,

grabbed

the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.



I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out

into a

torrential downpour.



The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,

turned on

the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.



I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back

into

bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different

anticipation, and

whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'



My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid

husband

is out fishing in that?'



And then the fight started ...





***********************************************************************

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.



Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from

outside.



The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the

man

'Holy cow. That must be my husband!'



So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out

the

window.

He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and

to his

car as fast as he could go.



A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and

screamed

at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'



The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'



And then the fight started.....





************************************************************************



I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for

$14.95.



Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.



I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the

cold

cream.



And then the fight started....





***********************************************************************

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I

feel

horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me

a

compliment.'



The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's dang near perfect.'



And then the fight started.....







************************************************************************



I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,

took my order first.



"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."



He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""



Nah, she can order for herself."



And then the fight started...







************************************************************************



My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,

and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat

alone at a nearby table.



My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'



'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took

to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I

hear she hasn't been sober since.'



'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?'



And then the fight started...





***********************************************************************



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply

for Social Security .

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to

verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at

home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go

home and

come back later.



The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt

revealing my

curly silver hair.



She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for

me' and

she processed my Social Security application.



When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at

the

Social Security office.



She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have

gotten

disability, too.'



And then the fight started....





***********************************************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her

someplace

expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.



And then the fight started...





************************************************************************



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming

anniversary.



She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in

about 3 seconds.'



I bought her a scale.



And then the fight started.....





************************************************************************



My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping

channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'



I said, 'Dust.'



And then the fight started...