Less than 24 hours to D and now this!

[trytoohard]

Painfully easy is the best way to describe the process for divorce in my county. Got to the courthouse at 7:45, parked and went inside. It was a beautiful, clean and efficient building, with excellent security so I should have felt safe right? I was struck with a low level feeling of terror that I knew was coming from the enormous amount of negativity the building has held. This is a very large county with many large courthouses, this one being specifically for family court. 6 stories and 24 court rooms. That's a large facility for the "chickens to come home to roost" as my grandma would say.

As I sat on the wooden bench outside of my assigned courtroom, I found it difficult to look around at all of the other people gathered there for the very same thing. I realized that what I was feeling was shame. Shame for being there, for not trying harder, for being an epic failure. Luckily, my therapy and my God quickly rushed to my aid and I worked past those feelings and began to take in my surroundings.

The majority present were women, majority younger than me and majority looked positively miserable to be there. Hooray! I'm not alone!

At 8:30 on the dot we were ushered into the courtroom, sworn in and told to have a seat. The judge immediately began calling cases up and each one took less than two minutes from introduction to "divorce granted" rumbling across the judge's desk. There were 10 cases heard before mine, all with the same grounds listed and all brought by women. I was number 11 and my divorce was final at 9:02am.

I felt somewhat shocked at the speed and emotionless manner with which divorce is granted. It didn't hit me until I sat down on the wooden bench once again, now a single woman for the first time in 27 years, to wait for my certified copy of the decree.

I heard a man on the telephone trying to reassure someone named "Babe" that he was trying to hurry and that as soon as he got his certified copy he would be on his way. The man hung up the phone and announced to no one in particular "I gotta get outta here, I'm getting married this weekend." I could almost see the letters MLC rising from his forehead!

More later.....