Haven't been around the boards in AGES, but I'm glad I found your new thread.
I can see that there's a little part of you that would like to hold onto some hope for H, in spite of everything. If that hope wasn't there, you wouldn't be conflicted when he tries to convince you he can change. So, I am not going to tell you to extinguish that hope.
HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you need to fall for his BS one more time. DO separate - for REAL. Go on about your life and even prepare for the D - that doesn't mean you have to make it official if things turn around.
But act as if you are officially divorced. Divide your money, live apart, work out custody of D5. Then, one of two things will happen.
First, H may see that his manipulations are not going to work. In that case, I expect he'll sink even lower (hard to imagine, I know) - he'll hit rock bottom. In case of this, please protect yourself and D5 against the worst. And be ready to D and move on for good.
Second, H may finally get the kick in the rear that causes him to straighten himself up. The wording there is very deliberate - HE has to do it, all by himself. You are not (and never have been) responsible for his actions. This will take a while - stay removed from H's Drama Show as much as you can. Maybe someday, he'll come to you, sober and acting like a terrific human being, and then you can see how you feel. (I personally doubt it, but nothing's impossible, I guess!) Until that day, live life for yourself and for D5 - BE HAPPY!
We are all cheering for you, Sue!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
