Just my 2 cents but based on the time and effort you have put forward trying to save your marriage, exhausting every available avenue with little or no positive response on your H's part, I think you are perfectly justified in testing the waters and casually dating.
Not sure what the law is in Iowa, but here in Virginia, it takes a full year of separation before a divorce is final. While my W has been in the house, dating for me has been out of the question, however I'm not going to sit on my thumbs once she moves out, waiting for a final piece of paper a year later which tells me something that is already obviously evident - that the marriage is over.
Oh dear.. I made my bf wait... 1/2 hour 10 years ago (we had been friends 3 years!) and this time around.. I managed 9 hours!! Thats an improvement hey
I see it that you just need a little nurturing. A special friend to show some interest in you, maybe a little spoiling, a dinner date, a bunch of flowers. Dan has given you very little the past few years, so its perfectly understandable. I'm sorry you find yourslef in this position Bobbi, but you are still standing. I dont know how you do it, keep such a PMA after all the the hurt and disappointment and with little ones involved too, I really admire you for that. Love Al xxx
PS: Kerry, did you post here about meeting a new woman this weekend.. what happened to GF40?? The one with the D. Did I miss something!?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Now, I'm not saying that anyone who does engage in sex with someone else during their D process is immoral.
This is a real "head scratcher" mish. It would be stooping to the level of adulterous WAS's and it surely would be immoral.
You are either M'd or not M'd. And to say that she is only M's as per a piece of paper as Kerry did, how about all the experiences that span across the years of a M. That is surely more than a piece of paper. A marriage is a covenant bond before the Lord more than ever could be contained on a piece of paper.
Well, I will buck the trend of advice on here no further on this post anyway. But those are my views such as they are. Take them as you wish.