C9,

My eldest son just moved out there three weeks ago and he is fine, so it is a relief to hear that you are both safe.

Take a mental health day, find some good friends to get crazy with and blow off some steam. Did me a world of good. You need to do this and try to stop the wallowing. It's too easy to wallow and let this consume you, but you are a strong guy that has lots to offer. You just need to get some of the old C9 back. Even if you don't feel like dragging yourself out of the "cave" do it for yourself. Your inner spirit needs a big recharge of joy. That is a good thing.

With my H, even though he knows how much I crave his touch and attention, he always held back, just like your W. It does not mean that they do not love us, it just means that they have issues to resolve, and that was a tough realization for me to come to. I am willing to be patient and see if he tries, but felt like I have to change the dynamics to force him to do so. She is working on this, but it will take time. She is also in pain about your sit, so she is lashing out at you. Understand that it is her pain and frustration talking. She sounds like she is as lost as you feel right now. It is easy to say things to each other that is hurtful or painful in these circumstances. Try to listen to get an insight or two, but let her get the pain out of her system. It might do you both some good to get issues out in the open. Respond later when you have had a chance to digest and think about what was said. Would you go to therapy together if that were possible? Might be worth a try even though you don't really want to.

Keep in touch

Johanna