By all means find a safe place to live so you can get some rest. With all of the stress that you are under with your R, living in your car, working too many hours, esp with your W, you need a safe haven for you to get away and find a bit of quiet so your mind can calm to think rationally. And you need to get some rest. You have to try to take care of yourself during these trying times. It's hard but you owe it to yourself. Could you possibly take a long weekend and get away to some friends? Sometimes a change of routine really helps the perspective of what is going on in your life. I got away this weekend to some relations, had a ball, got some good advice from them and feel so much better.
You are not giving up on your R, I'm not either. I just needed to find some peace and some flat ground to stop the merry go round. It's been better for me in the last couple of weeks but it is still tough.
She went to her second session, that is some progress, you talked, even though it was a hard conversation, things are coming out which is good. I know that you want to get "it all out" but you may discover that since this has been a long term problem, the issues will reveal kind of hapharzardly. Just keep talking and trying to communicate. Even though you feel that she has not been physically close to you for a large part of your R, she may really love you, but S*x and physical intimacy scare the crap out of her. At least you are talking about that issue. My H loves me, and treats me very similarly as your W treats you. Patience is hard in these situations, I know we have been patient with our Spouses for a long time. You and I are still willing and trying the patience part. That's a good sign that we have not given up.
I hope today is better for you. Keep posting as it really helps you talk though the dark moods.
