I really think it is....his suckingtobehim moment.
And yes, he may have plans I don't like, but I set a boundary....I made it very clear I just wasn't comfortable with him hanging out with her alone. He understood, but let's see if he "gets" it. If he wanted to do such things, I told him, you shouldn't have said you wanted to work on things with us and started "dating" me again. (I love that I'm dating my H. It just cracks me up.)
He's said in very clear and certain terms "I have no desire to hang out with her or even really to talk to her. I do it to keep the peace. She sits 10 feet from me. I really wish she left a long time ago and no one is looking forward to Thursday more than me."
What's odd is I simply asked what he had planned for the day besides starting back up with his second part time job. I was wondering if he was going to the gym, or one of the many other millions of things he's got going on. Frankly, I just wanted to know if he was interested in meeting us for dinner...and that's the answer I got.
Ok. Sounds good. What does he think I'm going to say? I'm not sure why he brings it up BECAUSE THEN IT JUST MAKES ME THINKG ABOUT IT.....But I just keep my face neutral and say very little. I did ask him, "Do you feel some need to prove something here? Do you want revenge? Or an apology? I have no idea what you're thinking and you've been off lately...." He thought about it and said "No. I just want it all to go away." I'm totally curious what that means, but it was early and he had to get to work. Not the best time to talk about stuff.
So, that's where we are. I go from wanting to scream to not caring. And I mean in a matter of minutes. Or I'm really not thinking about him. I'll probably wonder about it later tonight, but the truth of the matter is, I'll not know unless I do a drive by. I'm not entirely sure where he lives. Strange I know, but I didn't want to know. I know the general area, but if there were an emergency, and I had to get to his house, I'd have to call his parents.
I'm really just feeling too old for this sh!t. I'm not even sure what exactly the weirdness is related to, what the cause is. He's talking about moving on to a new town too....asked if I wanted to move. Honestly, not really unless it's closer to one of our families but no, I like it here. I think I would want to leave if we divorced though. I'd miss my wonderful friends but I could visit and they'd come to see me too.
He's also talking more about wanting to do a various list of other things....
I swear, I'll get a text from my normal H, about normal who cares crap. Then we'll talk and I'm not sure who he is, but he's definitely pissy. Then we'll talk again and he's super super happy. Then he's not. It's this weird range of emotions from him but again, not directed toward me, I'm just exposed to it.
I'm just going to sit under my desk. Maybe take a nap, or read or maybe even work. Who knows? I just need a little dose of normal. It's been lots of weird lately and I know I can't help him.
I swear, I'll get a text from my normal H, about normal who cares crap. Then we'll talk and I'm not sure who he is, but he's definitely pissy. Then we'll talk again and he's super super happy. Then he's not. It's this weird range of emotions from him but again, not directed toward me, I'm just exposed to it.
I HEAR YA!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I had asked H yesterday if he wanted to grab dinner tonight and he acted like I was requesting one of his vital organs. I said "Hey, we normally do dinner together on Tuesdays....I'll still be eating no matter if you're there or not. So no big deal...." And left it alone.
No contact from me today as I decided I needed a mini vacation away from the weird and unexpected that I've come to call my H lately. He calls me, and wants to go to dinner. He said "Instead of fighting, why don't we meet for dinner?" I'm thinking "Whaaaattttt?" But said "Sure, where would you like to meet?"
He has not one clue. So why ask what it means when he has not one clue?
We're actually pretty far into the land of progress.
He said quite a bit "I want a D, sign the papers, blah blah blah".
Now I'm dating my H.
I probably sound more irritated than I am. I'm mostly "What the hell is going on now?" and sort of chuckling a bit because what else can I do? I really believe he has very few answers right now, so why bother asking?
He'll figure it out. In the meantime, I have S, friends, tennis, exercise, work and caring for the house to keep me busy and able to avoid H during what I hope is the encore here.
And I think I wrote this, he's actually not being mean to me or bad or jerky....it's just a lot of weird.
You are most definitely right. I'm having my own feelings lately...wondering what the hell I'm doing still in this. It comes and goes. So yes, I'm going to take this time to pull back and reassess for me too.
I've just decided to go dark for a few days. I need a mental break. I have S tonight, but it's Daddy's weekend with him. Normally on Daddy's weekend, Daddy stays at our place. I may boot his butt out to his place. That's the kind of space I'm feeling the need for. I'll deal with him Monday. By then, I'll have my happy face back I hope.
