Need Advice, WAW wants to give it a month

[trrose]

So, instead of calling her selfish for wanting some individual time, maybe what's needed are some agreements and boundaries about what's healthy for your M?

I must admit that i had an issue with her going out once a week I think i was resentful because i was home with the kids while she was having fun i dont know why i felt that way but i do/did.

but now i see the error of my ways and realize that it is healthy for her and me to go out.

i dont find it selfish her wanting to go out. what i do find selfish is her automatically assuming that i am the babysitter on call that isnt fair i work all day too.

a couple of weeks ago she worked late on Monday, got hair done tuesday, went out thursday...i find that selfish..she could have asked or considered the work i was doing.

another example would be after she was out 3 days, i wanted to go to the gym on a Wed night...she said "youll go after we give the kids a bath and they go to sleep, right?" i said no...im going now.

last week she s she was going to come home early and make dinner for the kids....turns out she decided instead to walk thru the mall. by the time she got home i already put my daughter to bed.

About working late...is that an expectation of the job? If so, maybe a better approach would be if you talked about how those late nights are impacting the M, and maybe the solution is finding a job that respects its employees' home lives.

my wife is a lawyer at a big consulting/accounting firm..while she does work hard there is the option for her to work from home..she feels like she gets stuff done at the office. In other jobs my wife always worked later also i think it may be her personality

I hope you don't take this the wrong way...I just think that some (not as much as your W seems to be doing) regular independent activities are healthy for a M and it might come back to bite you in the booty if she gives it up out of guilt.

its all good i appreciate the feedback and agree with you, we just have to find a workable solution. part of the issue is ever since this went down. i feel like she just wants to avoid coming home, since she has "fun with others and not me."