Breakaway, Your husband could stand to read "Learned Optimism." It would help you understand him better. Goggle Martin Seligman and "Learned Optimism."
Keep pointing out his behavior, you are setting boundaries and he is noticing. Keep really listening. Keep your emotions under control. You are modeling healthy behavior to him. This is breaking years of patterns and defense mechanisms for him.
Make sure you have healthy outlets - exercise, prayer, support network, hobbies etc. To fill your own love buckets for the time being. You are being a positive influence. If you get down make a list of what you are grateful for.
Find another team or sport for your son to play. Let your son know you don't think he is a quitter. Ask your husband to apologize to your son for calling him a quitter. I would maybe ask this after you forgive your husband for his outburst/yelling at you.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
