My threads are very old and would take some searching to find them.
Sometimes you have to just step back and just wait. It is hard to do though. My xh would tell me he wanted a divorce one day and the next to just leave things the way they were and lets see what happens. I stayed in the confused state. He only mentioned divorce if I backed him into a wall. I would sometimes make him mad just to get him to talk to me. We did this for 3 1/2 years. So as you can see, it is a long process and you have to learn patience.
I think deep down I knew my marriage was over but didn't want to accept it until I was ready. I didn't set any time limits on it. I just woke up one day and decided it was time to let him go. For me, it was one of the best decisions of my life. I still care for my xh but I don't love him anymore. I don't like the person he has become. He is not the man I married 20 years ago. But, I am not the person he married 20 years ago either. I am a stronger person.
You need to work on you right now. Do things you couldn't or wouldn't do when he was with you. Find yourself. As I said, step back from him and just focus on your right now. Your friend is right, you are the gold. No contact is good. Sometimes it gets them thinking. They can't miss what is right in front of them. Try it and see how it works for you.
