I'm new here and I have never posted anything on a message board before but here goes:
I am 43 and my husband 44. We have been married 22 years and have 3 grown children. We have always been the perfect family with the perfect marriage.
Our sex life was always GREAT until about 3 years ago. I notice in many things that I've read about men with low sex drives that they have always been that way but it got worse over time. My husband is not one of them though. He always had a very strong sex drive. We had sex an average of 3-5 times a week for about 19 years then all of a sudden nothing.
I know that he loves me very much and that there is not another woman because if he is not at work, he is at home but something happened. We have sex about every 3 months now and I have to beg for that.
I think the worst part of it is that he won't give me any affection. No hugging, kissing, cuddling. Nothing. I tried to talk to him about it but he says he doesn't feel like a man anymore and he has always been a macho type man. He thinks that if he shows me any affection that it will have to lead to sex, which in the past it usually did, but I really miss that part as much as I do the sex.
He does have problems keeping an erection when we have sex and this is frustrating to him I know so I think he just thinks it's better to not bother.
I miss him, if that makes any sense. I miss his arms around me and the way he used to look me in the eyes and the way he made love to me and wanted to pleasure me. Is it selfish to want him to do these things even though he doesn't want to.
He does have viagra but he won't take them. He says they make him feel funny, but that's just one of the many excuses he uses. I try not to bother him about it alot because it seems to make matters worse but I'm afraid if he doesn't use it he's going to lose it or maybe he already has.
