Looking For Help

[Looking_For_Help]

GIMA,

I see your point. It's just that my W believes I shot down her attempts at working things out. She believes that I believe nothing she does is good enough. This is simply not true. Like Sandi said, my W wasn't speaking my love language. I was very thankful for my football tickets... it was a very nice gesture; however, it was not what I needed from her at the time. I needed her to show me that she wanted to be with me, and just not the kids. This was the reason I hit my limit a while back and stated to her that I was ready for a divorce.

Since my W "opened herself up", is it simply my turn to do the heavy lifting and "open myself" to her and demonstrate to her that relationship-fixing is going to have its ups and downs...and not to give up? Show her that true love is kind and patient? Knowing her the way I do, this anger wave that she's going through will subside.

Again, my mistake for not getting past my needs and hurt at the time. I wonder if I should write her a letter acknowledging her efforts...again this would me construed as pursuing. I need to somehow demonstrate to her that she does an excellent job on many of the things she does. I wonder if she needs validation from me.

Oh, and another interesting thing happened yesterday. My W bought an airline ticket for my daughter so she can join me and my son on our football trip. She said that she's only trying to be nice...that my mother would enjoy spending extra time with my daughter while we're at the football game.

Is this just her love language of "act of service" coming through again? What gives?

Also yesterday, my W brought from her car an apartment map for apartments near her work. She said, "here you go daughter...here's your map"...as my W was looking at me. Is she trying to get a reaction from me? My daughter left it laying on the family room floor...I completely ignored it.

I'm receiving too many mixed messages!

Thanks,
LFH

PS Sandi: A response to your message is next.