I know how you feel and it is always good to know that one is not alone in this journey, although I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I have taken some major steps to improve MYSELF, which will in turn make me a way better father and friend/mate in the future. Not hanging on to false hopes but I have no doubt that one day my wife will regret this and try to return to me/reconcile. I agree with you in that I have heard 20 different reasons as to why this is what's happening.
The only one that is legitimate and consistent is me not helping out enough with the kids and the house. Now that I have been (and it feels good because I am doing it for the right reasons and not to win her back) she states that I am "being selfish" to make the kids miss me more after I am gone. That is just flat out silly talk and I do not have the brain power to discet that statement. One thing I did yesterday that really made me open my eyes is I went and looked at condos on the beach. Right now I will be living in a one bedroom apartment until our house is sold so it will be hard for me to have a comfortable place for the kids to spend time at my place. So getting a bigger place is my goal for them and for me.
THe hardest part for me is the bomb was dropped on 7/6 and on Father's day she gave me this great card and wrote a long paragraph in there about how I am the love of her life and she would not change anything about our lives and we will be together forever no matter what. She is definitely going through a MLC and I am convinced having a EA and working towards a PA. Maybe she is trying to hold out until the divorce is final in a few months for the PA....at which time it would just be a relationship I guess.
Either way, I have read so many situations that are worse than mone where the spouse comes back after the dumpee goes to LC and moves on with their life after she realizes that that grass on the other side is only green for the season and then turns brown. No matter what I will make it through this. I just love her so much that the only fear I have at this point is I will let go totally and IF she ever wants back in it will be too late. In other words, the thought of her wanting me and me not wanting the same scares me to think of her being in pain like I am now. Call it true love or stupidity on my part.
Any advice from anyone that has had success once that moved out/seperated from a WAW that worked for them PLEASE share.
