You have neither control over nor responsibility for HER feelings.
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Does it seem like I am giving her the cold shoulder by clamming up?
Detaching is not clamming up and is not giving her the cold shoulder. It is loving her from a distance. Be kind, warm and respectful, but be withdrawn in some respect, like not initiating conversation. If you decide to do something, do it b/c it is the right thing to do for YOU, not her. So,
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If she doesn't initiate talking, should I?
NO. What you will find is that she will initially pull back (she's probably already there). But, when you act with consistency, she will wonder what's up. And most likely, SHE will be the one initiating conversation. You will find she will just by chance end up in the same room as you, etc.
She does NOT want you initiating anything b/c she sees that as pursuit. Stop it. Give her space in a loving, respectful way. It takes the pressure off her and conveys strngth and confidence from you.
Keep in mind doing nice things for her is nice in a HEALTHY M (few of us here are in that stage right now) but right now, she does not want that. If you want her to be attracted to you, you have to earn her RESPECT. Without her respect for you, she WILL NOT be attracted to you or love you. That's just the way women are wired.
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Shouldn't I try to get her interested in me again?
O, you are either refusing to accept that detachment is necessary or you are simply not getting the point. This isn't about getting HER to do ANYTHING. The more you try to do that (which brings in your expectations) the more you will fail.
The point is you are supposed to be working on YOU FOR YOU. Not for HER, not for your kids, not for anyone else. This is the foundation of detaching. If you start with that premise, then work on being OK with whatever comes, you will gain confidence, self respect and a healthy emotional make-up - ALL attractive qualities to a woman. But you have to LIVE these changes.
You have time before your retro session to start living those changes. Get to work man.
