Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hi guys, Michelle, Dawn, Kalni, Julia, GAG, thankyou for your commisserations and suggestions!! My WAS has given me more answers, more of that later and I will try and answer your questions, Hope4Us and GoodAGirl. I read all your ideas, but I was away for 5 days so couldnt post.

Well I talked to him again and suggested it could be the ADs but he said he is just tired and a bit stressed (his ezcema is very bad) but he doesnt know why and its NOT to do with me though. That I shouldnt worry as he knows it will come back and that anyway, putting pressure on him by worrying (he feels like he is letting me down) makes it worse. I dont think I can get him to discuss it with his Doc, he is picking up more ADs today and I bet he doesnt mention it.

Rob.. no need for Viagra, mechanically he works fine! GAG, yes, he did say he feels he has a reduced s*x drive, or that its gone. Seems to be a mental problem, not wanting to, just wants to "snuggle". SO.. I then read an article in a Cosmo like magazine whilst waiting for an appointment, about men not wanting to ML and you wanting to.. it suggested (as perhaps DB book does Julia?) to mix it up and make more effort to get the man initiated and to really try and help them get past the mental blockage, IF its not a medical issue.. so I took him to a fancy lingerie shop on the pretence of needing more new underwear (good god, my drawer is bursting from all this DB clothing!!!!).. I showed him the styles I preferred but got him to choose what he wanted and said I had no time to try on...

Well, the try on at home worked, in about... oh, 4 seconds!!?? I cant do that every week, but its a start.

We had a convo about underwear when we got back together. I was always of the feminist opinion it should purely be for comfort and men had no right to comment/expect their preference, but I see now that that is not what a healthy, loving R is all about. I prefer it when he dresses nice and shaves etc, its more of the same. So to choose nice underwear (not sl*tty!) is a big 180 for me, massive and he knows it and is very very appreciative. I can see he feels more loved and also, that his needs are getting met, and lack of that is the biggie with why men leave in teh first place apparently.