WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

I got a pretty good nite sleep last nite. Finally went to bed before 1:00 AM. Spent a lot of time talking with family, friends and other supporters.

Tomato brought up a good point in our chat last nite - I can't just keep talking about the nonsense/crap. I need to focus on the other things that are important as well.

It reminded me of Stronger sharing with me what her mother asked her, if you knew that your spouse was coming home some day, what would you would be doing right now? Once you decide what that is, why wouldn't I do that right now? (She said it alot more eloquently than I put it, but I hope you get the point).

It has been an extremely tough 24/36 hours, but for now, I feel like I'm not sinker any deeper into this funk and may be starting to rise out of it.

I need to keep reminding myself that I was fine before I was with my wife. I was fine when I was with my wife. And I will be fine in the future, no matter if I'm with my wife or not.

I've had a lot of scud missles hit me in life. And quite a few of them this year. But I survived the earlier hits and have made myself better following all of them.

So, I need to focus and enjoy my life with what I have - my boys, my family and my friends. I owe it to them to be the best that I can be.

Thanks for putting up with all the venting....