Well, I have been doing some reading (Mars and Venus on a date) and have come up with some interesting things that seemed quite apt in my situation. I will try to apply them but I thought I would share in case it is interesting to others.
The main gist I've highlighted is how to keep a man actively interested in you during the dating stage and how sometimes we women sabotage their interest indirectly. It rang true to me!
Some interesting highlights for me from there...
1. A big thing I used to do was to try and keep quiet and listen to my h and make him talk about himself (I guess I wanted him to share feelings and open up to me but all I ever got was work). It says that actually the more a man talks about himself the more interested in what he is talking about he becomes, therefore less actively interested in you. The pointer here is that a woman should do more of the talking and authentically share herself in a positive manner.
2. A man is attracted to a woman that can clearly be pleased. Do not dwell on negatives (that film was dreadful, that spaghetti was like rubber) or problems. Make positive comments.
3. After being receptive to a man's responses appreciate his efforts with a smile and a thank you but do not feel you owe him anything or try to give too much in return.
4. The anticipation of more is important to keep him interested. If he feels completely satisfied then there is no distance for him to continue to pursue.
5. Distance not only makes the heart grow fonder but it gives the man opportunity to pursue.
6. When a man stops pursuing women must resist the urge to find out what happened and allow him distance.
7. Don't give advice but ask for advice.
8. Self-assurance is a very attractive trait, self-assurance assumes you will always get what you need and are now in the process of getting it. When a woman shifts from feeling self-assured to earning a man's affection she becomes less attractive. Women tend to give too much and be too responsible.
9. Men love women with a smile.
10. Active and receptive interest. Active interest is when we feel we have a goal in mind and comes from a place of desire. It wants to serve while receptive interest wants to be served. It is what we feel when we are openly considering the value of what is being offered. It is motivated to create opportunities to receive and comes from a place of preference and worthiness. The two kinds of interest are reciprocal; if a woman is receptively interested in a man it will generate his active interest.
I guess that is what I have been trying recently and it did produce results from h by him asking me out on Saturday, which I couldn't go to. I am keeping quiet again now and going to sit tight until the next opportunity. It is scary not generating an opportunity and I am finding it hard to resist the urge. Don't let me fold!!! I am sitting on my hands and posting here instead!
