My BFF has been to a few. She got her H a shirt that says, "My wife thinks I look like Keith Urban." WE WISH! I'm not a country music fan, but he could sing the alphabet for all I care. HOT! I can't believe he married Nicole Kidman. He'd look much better w/me.
Do you have a thread?
Sorry, just saw this today as I don't check on the weekends.
I've seen that shirt...cute! And I can't believe who he married either!
Yes, I sort of have a thread, but it's probably on about page 30 right now, and I haven't really added anything much to it. I am learning just by reading everyone else's for now.
I'm pissed beyond pissed. I thought I was all good w/my meeting at the BIG PHARMA company... Ugh!
OK, here's what has transpired.
My car is going in in the am. Some kind of belt broke, and a pulley that helps the belt. Whatev! It'll probably take forever and cost a mint, since it's now out of warranty (E350 Wagon! Mom mobile! LOL)
So, my meetings are now moved to Wednesday... but, get this, the BIG PHARMA folks want me to meet them in Downers Grove at the company that we're partnering with on this project, AND I'm going to have my new tag along with to see how he does in front of people.
Talk about falling apart!!!
And, the thing I'm most pissed about is that you go back to school this week, and I am sunk after 3pm each day! ARGH!
PLAN B?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Alright CBIH - You're in the MidWest, too. Time to really join in! Stace and I WERE going to meet for lunch tomorrow until my car broke, my boss interfered, and my customer got pushy!
Give us a background! We'll be glad to offer opinions! (Not that "I" am qualified, and sheesh, Stace? She was almost renamed to FashionBarbie.) How do you not want to join in? LOL
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
So, in my LOANER CAR, I handle football, soccer, more soccer, etc... and I decide it is NOW time to get down to business with this weight thing. There is a brand new (super nice) YMCA right next to where my boys train for soccer, and they're there for 90 minutes! I am going to start their spin classes on Monday's and Wednesday's, and do the Stability Ball classes occasionally on Tuesday's and Thursday's. I get to the Y (after having to go shop for workout attire, since mine is not from this decade), REINSTATE my dusty membership, get to the locker room, change, make my grand entrance to Studio B, and GET THIS!! It's a FREAKIN' YOGA CLASS!!! (Can you say bull in a china shop?) I'm:
1 - not quiet 2 - not focused 3 - not flexible 4 - intense
This is NOT for me! But, I did it!!! I sweated my rear off, too! And, can I ask? WHY DO THEY TURN THE HEAT UP TO 90 DEGREES IN THERE? I thought I would pass out! But, I was NOT quitting.
And, I am sore.
Nice
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Wakes up, comes downstairs where I'm sitting and working... chitchats for about half an hour in his robe (ya wanna take that off?!) Logistics of kids, funny stories, work schedule, blahblahblah
Goes to leave to go out of town for "the week," today... Hugs me, holds on extra long and secure. Kisses me, a snails pace longer, and less terse... chats some more, blahblahblah... hugs and kisses me again.
Calls an hour later... asking same questions about S12's football schedule as we covered earlier.
Calls on our way home from soccer training... no real reason.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Perpetual lurker, de-lurking here for a moment....I rarely post on this forum, but I have been following your sitch from the beginning.
I've been silently cheering you on, wishing you continued "mojolation", and observing the changes, the apparent thawing of your H. But a nagging thought keeps crossing my mind about him, so I will just throw it out there.....
Do you think there is any chance that his present, continued intimacy avoidance could be due to ED? Maybe he is suffering from failure to launch and continues to keep you at arms distance because of it. Some men will go to great lengths in "covering" for their shame over the perceived failure of their "manhood".
Anyhoo, it is just an idea from someone on the outside looking in who has dealt with the issue, but certainly not all of the other MLC'er issues you've had. Even if you think it might be relevant, I don't think you should change your plan and present direction for YOU, as it would still be his issue to work out.
Congrats on all your recent career sucesses ((high 5 MB)) and WAY TO GO...on showing that yoga class a thing or two !!
You know, my initial response was to say, "NO WAY!" And, in 30 secs had come up with all of these "other" things he does to not be intimate (emotional or physical)... doesn't want to go away together anymore, doesn't act like he'd want to go on a date night with me, etc... But, gosh, all of those add up to not having to explain an "issue," right?
However, thinking out loud, he seriously has detached (until a recent minor thaw) from our friends, extended family, and even some activities he used to enjoy.
It tears me up to remember all of our trips for our anniversary to The American Club @ Kohler, trips to the city, dinners at great restaurants, and many more. It also tears me up that I never paid enough attention to him intimately... I was so busy! God!
But, wouldn't you think I would have noticed? I mean... an attempt gone awry, something shrinking, anything!? In one of our inital during-post bomb blow-ups, I think I might have screamed this possibility at him... (At this time I was doing all the wrong things.)
So, how would I know? Straight up... "Hey H, I'm not believing your ILYBNILWY bit anymore. I see you love me. I feel you love me. Tell me, do you have some issues with erections I should know about? Because, if so, my God, that can be fixed! Help me out here! I'm in misery!!!"
Mostly, tongue in cheek, but you get the drift...
Some thought to be given to this...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Ya know, I don't think there is any way right now for you TO KNOW, ya know? It doesn't sound like you are at a point with him yet to even talk about R, let alone sex.
From what you just said, it sounds a bit like depression, since he has distanced from friends too, but from our virtual vantage point, it sounds like the fog is lifting a bit, NO? Depression often does cause ED, as do many other physical, emotional and (for some men) relational factors. I just tossed that out to see what you thought...not to stir up your sadness. (I've been there and know how you feel, BTW)
I say, regardless, just file the thought away in the back of your brain and don't dwell on it. Carry on with the detachment/dim thing since it seems to be working. Leave out your receipt and, while he's home, disappear for a "date" with Keith Urban. Keep him curious about you.....here kitty, kitty... (to quote others on this board, tee-hee)
(Not that "I" am qualified, and sheesh, Stace? She was almost renamed to FashionBarbie.) How do you not want to join in? LOL