I'm hearing you, it's a specialty of mine, too. I just know my H is so inconsistent and sometimes irrational and I try to interpret it all as if they are words/actions of a rational and consistent person.
And the more I think about it, you are right in saying that they don't want to make decisions, I must say my H doesn't, all he wants to do is go along with whatever has been organised or done for him, no input, nothing.
He even asked me again this morning for like the 4th time, when our S is arriving. Bizarre given he is the one that told me S would arrive Friday morning, now he keeps asking me when he is arriving.
Further evidence of an MLC for my H is that he is now seeing one of those dentist people who make your teeth all nice, white and perfect and our bank account is showing nightclub, restaurant debits over the weekend (he seems to have forgotten about paying off credit cards). Nothing looks worse than a mid 40's MLCer hanging out in a nightclub with 20 something year olds, I wonder what term they can be given similar to the mutton dressed as lamb term that women get.
It wouldn't surprise me if H doesn't think I will really go to the movies on my own, since that is a complete 180 for me because whenever I have asked in the past if he will do this that or whatever with me, when he would say "no, but you can still do it", I would always say "no, can't do that on my own". Well here we go another 180 and I hadn't even thought of it like that before. Maybe that was good thinking this time.
We recently sold a car to one of H's friends (one he is moving in with). After the loan is paid out there was going to be some funds left over.
The loan has been paid out (he hasn't told me) but that loan payment has not be debited this month meaning the loan has been closed. But where is the excess funds, he hasn't banked it into our account where the bills are all paid from.
I won't ask him about it, because it will look like I am snooping and being bitchy, but I can't help but feel a bit annoyed that he has secretly taken those additional funds since that loan was paid from my wages each and every month.
Well done (((Oz))) - I admire your inner (and outer) strength! I am sure that you will be just fine when you get started, says she's who's bike helmet and gloves are still on the table waiting to be picked up and taken out there! I have washed down my bike (it was so dusty) and oiled the chain but I still can't pluck up the courage to take off .... you wouldn't believe the spunky things that I have done in my life and yet going out on a lone bike ride seems to be one step too far for me at the moment! Madness - where has that strong and motivated 'me' gone?? Probably buried in the attic with all Alien cr*p!!
Don't forget to let us know how the group goes ... my C mentioned the same to me yesterday, funnily enough and she said that she would find details of our local groups for next week. I am sure that I would hold them back though as I am certainly not fit enough at the moment! Maybe that's something that I can work on - for me. I see that my H has been working out for himself - or is that for OW? Ooops, beating myself up again. Red stop sign
So, glad that your H went through with getting you the bike but it's weird that he's flipped again ... you seem to be handling his backslide really well. Don't you just wish that there was a pill that we could give to them? They blow so hot and cold - I was encouraged for you on the initiation of ML and the movie and then blown away by his words re the house situation. Any more from the agent/other on that?? I have to give you credit, you are incredibly brave and holding things together so well. Keep going Oz ... you are a credit to yourself and an inspiration to others.
Catch up later, Nell.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
Sweetie, if you aren't as fit as you should be, then get out there and ride your little heart out, start some power walking, I know you don't have the funds for a gym, buy some weights, start moving, go for a run (if you like running) anything, I have found that even on the days when I really didn't want to exercise, I forced myself and felt much better for it, particularly once you start seeing and feeling the results which does wonders for your self-esteem.
Still waiting on the agent to come back to me I followed her up again today, but still waiting. Have to hold it all together for my D who is starting to stress about it.
I am only brave and holding it together because of the sincere and genuine help I have received here, it's like having someone holding your hand whilst you navigate this incredible mess.
Oz - I wish we were nearer for coffee, bike-rides and ((hugs)) - I reckon we would get on well together!
OK - here's my promise to you. Today I am going to fester and wallow in my self pity allowing myself a day to do this and not feel guilty for having done so. Tomorrow I will get out that bike and go for it ... when I get back and my adrenaline is surging, those weeds are going to get it once and for all - OK??!!
I can imagine that your D is having a tough time right now - she must be feeling kind of caught in the cross-fire but from what you have said in other posts, she sounds like a determined young lady in her own right and so I'm sure that she will do fine - she must be a good resource to you right now - and super company!
I agree with you that being here is like having someone hold your hand - I feel sure that everytime I come to the board, one of you will be there for me - as we are for each other. It's so wonderful and I don't know why I never found this when I was in my first throws of despair. Perhaps it's all about the timing - looking back on it, I couldn't string a sentence together then so perhaps I would not have managed it. I'm wondering how I manage to put sentences together now through all of my ramblings but I feel safe in knowing that everyone understands the bad days and those that are not quite so bad.
Talk later ...
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
I wish we were nearer for coffee, hugs, bike rides and chats too, you never know one day we might be able to meet.
Okay you can one day to wallow around in self pity then tomorrow it out there in the fresh air my girl.
I stumbled across this site, literally, I googled the D word and up came this site, I believe it was fate because I don't even know why I googled that word.
GREAT AND WONDERFUL NEWS EVERYONE, I can have my beloved furry and feathered friends with me, I have a home to go to and it is such a huge relief I can't begin the describe the feeling.
