WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Thanks antlers.

I know almost every here is dealing with some really crappy things. I do appreciate the support I get from everyone.

It just eats me up what has happened to in my life. Not looking to do a woe's me pity party, but more of anger that things have come to this.

I was suppose to have a call with my therapist tonite, but it's 30 minutes past the time and I haven't heard from her and all I've gotten was her voice mail. I'm really bumming as I wanted to speak with her as it has helped. I'm going to bail and try to call my friends and family to talk. It is just so hard to deal with all the churning inside me. I know talking and posting helps.

I had really thought I had gotten past all the crying and the hurt and the pain in my gut. It has all come back just like it was when she hit me with the bomb of filing for divorce in January. Now I'm starting all over.

I just don't know how to snap myself out of this funk. I just feel like a failure. But I do know I have to focus on what I still have, not just what I have lost. Problem is I don't know what I still have.