Sanderika I read about your situation last night but I waited until this morning to post a reply. I think we are in a similar place. Anyway have a read on your thread and I'll keep in touch. We can help each other out here!
Over to me....I post this because my ramblings maybe of some help to you anyway. Some of my thoughts about my sitch -H loves his kids -H loves his parents and siblings -H loves my family and has made efforts to restroe relationships with 2 of my brothers -H loves and cares for me -H doesn't want to be with me in a relationship but he doesn't want me out of his life either.............. CAKE EATING -H made a huge mistake getting involved with OW but he is proud and can't back out now. He cares for her but he knows she's not really 'the one.' I suspect she lives on the crumbs too. -H enjoys my company and loves the whole family being together -After positive interactions he has to pull back because he is scared I will pressure for more which he can't give -When pushed he becomes irrational and then we are back to square 1, so then we have to rebuild the relationship again. That gives him time and space and he is happy again (until the next time) -H is incredibly self centred and has excuses for everything (mostly too busy) -Ow is a trade down and I know there would be aspects of his relationship with her and her kids H would find difficult (grooming issues etc as H is meticulous in dress and grooming) -H blames me for absolutely everything -H says he doesn't want to be friends/wants a divorce etc etc when annoyed but shortly after will attempt to reiterate that we are friends or 'we'll see where this goes in the long term'....never really letting go and never committing beyond today
I have reflected on me and I think I naturally pursue by my very nature...I am a fix it and I enable him. I deserve more than the crumbs. I love him and he knows that and that is why he really doesn't have to make any decisions or to make any serious attempts to be a friend. He knows I am a good person. He shows he cares but it's all carefully veiled (eg hospital visits to bring the kids who can travel with their grandparents)He has to reach a place where he makes a choice. For starters we can be friends but he has to show by his actions that he is friendship material.
