Stuck is right, BJ. I think she will have to experience the school of hard knocks before it makes a believer out of her. It seems that she is way too deep into the fog and over in that "never-never land" for you to be able to reach.

If you can endure a S with her then do what you can, but if you make anything "easy" on her (still...trying to protect & help her), then you will never see the wife you once knew b/c she will continue to be this woman you can't bear to be around. Right now you are really ticked....and it took you a long time to get to this place...or so it seemed. I still believe you have to continue to put tough love into place to ever be able to have hope for a future.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!