WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

I am wondering... maybe it is just a new outlook after a weekend away with friends and seeing that there is a big world out there that I never paid attention to when it comes to the opposite sex, or the advice from friends who tell me 'don't worry there are plenty of women out there' who speak from recent experience, but I am getting to the point where I feel like I want to tell W that I agree with her that we should D. Maybe it is just a passing thought, but maybe not.

Now, her position isn't that she wants a D TODAY, but that eventually she does and that she is just there for her kids 'for now' while she sleeps in another room and carries out a separation in our house. However, I am starting to realize how frustrating it is to be around the W.

It just hit me that I have thought about OM every day for the past six months - this just isn't worth it! It feels like it has taken over my life and I am so tired of it and burnt out.

D is the last thing I wanted to happen, but I see no way out of the hole we are in at this point and maybe I just need to let go an move on. Hanging on is becoming painful and demoralizing, especially with her continued contact with OM.

I am fighting a losing battle I fear.