Just want my H back

[tryingtilDorR]

I just wanted to chime in based upon my own experience. W was involved in an EA (at least) pretty heavily and was telling me she was done and that it was 'too late' etc etc. (the Script).

I begged her to go to Retrouvaille and it didn't work. When I read the following from gucci I realized he was talking about me back in January when I twisted her arm to go to Retro:

My experience on this issue is that you are going to try the "pressure" route first. Go ahead. I believe you are going to hear what you don't want to hear. Give it a go. Maybe he will. My take is that he won't. My take is that he thinks his mind is made up.

I also think that we need to exclude "another woman." Not "women", but a specific woman he is interested in. IF he does happen to have one, then you would be wasting your time.

I definitely heard what I didn't want to hear just like Gucci predicts - Retro forced us to communicate and I heard the ugly truth in black and white. She was done. She had no feelings. She had feelings for someone else but didn't go looking for it. She was sorry she was hurting me. etc etc Later I found that she did try to back off of the EA but the intense focus on the R actually drove her closer to OM (her own admission/words).

Others have had success with it however - it just depends where their head is at. Check out Deep's thread for an alternative outlook on going to Retro when WAS is involved with someone else.