Gwendolin - just another thought for you. My sitch is different, but when my H was going through an unrecognized clinical depression (and, unbeknownst to me, having an affair that was mostly emotional) he suddenly lost interest in sex with me. I negotiated through our marriage counseling for H to commit to a specific night each week. Having that "date" to have sex took a lot of the pressure off, as I knew I would at least have sex then, so I wasn't always risking rejection. And it took the pressure off of him in that the rest of the week he didn't have to feel pressured.
Seems to me that right now your conversations probably leave BF feeling pretty bad about himself. This approach might take the pressure off.
Also - has your H been thoroughly evaluated for medical problems? Clinical depression, thyroid disease, testosterone deficiency can all cause low libido.
