"How does your boyfriend react to talks about this issue?"
I am glad to see that you have replied today. I am ditto with every word in your post. I feel the same that I am totally in love with this man and we are extremly compatible. He is my best friend and we do everything together. We do work opposite schedules (he is a police officer that works nights) and this does pose a few problems for us.
I have to admit myself in the past have not reacted well to this situation. I have found myself angry or crying in disappointment. I have tried lingerie, backing off, and being the aggressor or anything to so called "spice things up". We have had talks - if thats what you call them - regarding our sex life. I have expressed to him that sex in a relationship is something that I think is important. That there are feelings involved of comfort, togetherness, and feeling sexy and wanted. His reaction to my talks only causes him to back off even more. He then claims to become anxious of sex or that I make him nervous? He has never had problems with performance so I don't quite understand his nervousness. His anxiousness leaves me with no where to go. I can't initiate but yet I can't wait for him to initiate either! We only have limited time to spend together. I have explained that it does not have to always be an event, quickies are great sometimes! We have been through good times and like you I have come back to a bad spell, which is what brings me here.
When he has responded to the talks, he tells me that he thinks that the fact that we are so compatible in other areas is what is important to him in our relationship. He does like to make love to me, but that our schedules are just different. He has even agreed to be a part of trying to improve our frequency, but he hasn't ever done anything. It doesn't seem to be sinking in how important this is to me.
I haven't had anyone to talk to about this issue either because it is very personal. He pretends to his friends -and obviously in his profession, very macho men- that our sex life is great. And don't get me wrong, when we have it, sex IS great. However, I am going on a month now....tonight we are having dinner and I find myself preparing for the "just in case". It feels like a setup for failure these days...I get dressed up, smell good, shave my legs.....well....we'll see...
I don't know if we yet have advice for each other but it is comforting to be able to finally put this into some type of words. Us being here is a sign that this is definately an important issue.
Have you had any discussions with your boyfriend regarding this issue? How has reacted and what have you tried?
