Ok, so I was a WAW who didn't walk away, thus we just tore the sh*t out of our R. I did reject H and talked about leaving but it lingered on and on and he knew that he had me with my unyielding commitment to marriage. But I did reject him and treat him like crap (alternated with trying to be perfect and loving and sexy and a "good wife")...it was like Limboland for a few years and when one was on in the marriage, the other was off.

Even once I told him that I wanted to separate because he was so miserable (and was clearly hanging out with other women) and he looked at me and said "but you're cute and I love you." That was a month before he left!

I could feel him leaving and was very honest and expressive about my desire to come back together. There was definitely one if not more other women tugging at his zipper by that point.

So,a few weeks ago (post my weekend getaway), he was coming at me with some drama about the past and I fired off the email of the century and articulated that I was moving on. And I meant it and I have followed through. And I have maintained my boundaries and I have a few too many challenges to articulate here that have been from little to big (him wanting x or y, or texting or...) and I have met each challenge effectively. Even last night he resorted to a desperate email accusing me of some drama and I handled it so well. I wrote the long retarded emotional email, threw it out and sent the concise, handling and ending this conversation email instead. His response, "fair enough."

Works for me.

There is no cake eating, there is no hanging out, no phone calls, no seeking time together or lingering or accepting invitations or showing up where I know he is...nada.

By sheer happenstance, he texted that he wanted to come by the house last night to get something he needed for work. And I had to tell him my sister was here with my kids cuz I was out...He said, "I guess I'm f*cked." Yep, he knows if he wants his nuts in tact he shouldn't be showing up with my sis here...then it went on about me being out so much and he was going to invite me to a movie but he thought I wouldn't want to be away from our kids (which was a major issue in M, I didn't go out enough with him)....I let him have his conversation with himself and turned my phone off...then it was that he wanted to talk to the kids (hello, McFly, I'm out)...and then it was we need to have a serious talk...and then the email...

The ONLY tough part is that we have to raise two kids and make some serious logistical and financial decisions with this drama in the middle...it feels very precarious but I am handling it one thing at a time and I am getting very close to hammering out what I want and I will then either file for D if I have the money or sit down with him and see if we can draw up a separation agreement.

No, I am not f*cking around anymore. I married a big baby and I have NO indication whatsoever that he plans on manning up. Actually, this behavior now, while it strokes my ego a tad, is juvenile and annoying and I am glad I'm not living with it anymore. I am a straight up kind of gal and I want a man who can "handle it."

What I would love is help staying on track because sometimes I miss the little traps. But, I doubt you'll give me your cell phone numbers and be on call...so I'll have to rely on my general commitment to move on.