4. as an aside...and im sure most of us LBS get this. my wife said that everytime me cuddle, she feels "pressured" to have sex. I find that so weird especially since we havent had sex in 5 months and the sex life was sporadic prior to that.
Something about this and the topic of postpartum sex is irking me and I'd like to explore it.
Look at the ages of the second children in MANY of these sitches.
I think there is something the Hs and probably the Ws too are missing here. Giving birth and caring for a newborn and toddler can leave a woman feeling not only touched out but worn out, old, unattractive...if birth was vaginally, there's a bit of a segue from V as birth canal to V as sex organ. If breast-feeding, there is often NO sex drive due to significant reduction in those hormones. Logistically, hormonally, emotionally and physically, sex is a whole different experience in the first years following birth.
Again, I am trying to impart something, not sure what, but maybe perspective. We as women can feel disillusioned and confused by our feelings of isolation and lack of sex drive. It is not as if the LBS is trying to lose attraction, she is experiencing it and reacting to it. The extenuating factors are very important to put it in perspective and not project feelings that are very likely circumstantially cultivated and very able to be overcome.
It just saddens me to see the same issues over and over and such a lack of awareness, even from counselors. I mean I sat in therapy with my H with my breast-feeding 5 month old in the waiting room (6 years ago) and we discussed our sex life barely even addressing any of these issues...WTF?
