Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

Tough days happen to everyone, I just don't want you to give in to your emotions of the moment. Before you do anything take a moment and ask yourself if what you're about to do will help you reach your goal(s). If not, don't do it.

I understand about getting conflicting advice. Honestly, my DB coach steered me in the totally wrong direction. She was helpful in understanding the situation and figuring out what was different between when we first got together and the bomb dropping, but the actions she recommended only hurt me more and set me back a couple months. Once I realized it wasn't working for me I adopted a different plan of action. So I don't want to discredit what your coach told you but I urge you to evaluate if what she told you to is working for you--have you seen any movement in your sitch? How do you feel about yourself? How has H responded? If there hasn't been positive movement then it's time to try something new.

I don't think Gucci is saying there's no hope for your sitch. What you do have to understand that thre's no guarantee for anything in life. You could DB your butt off and do everything humanly possible and your H could still decide that D is the only answer. Does that mean you shouldn't try? Of course not. But that is why everyone here keeps saying that DBing is for you to make you the best person possible. If your H recognizes that and decides he wants to work on the M then that's an added bonus.

As heartbreaking as it is, you should try to ascertain if there is indeed another woman in the picture. You don't need to know all the details but it makes a difference. You have to know what you're dealing with in order to deal with it properly.

Get back to GAL activities and figure out what the best possible hhh looks like. I used to have a song that ran through my head: "Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again."

And yes, if you're in town on/around 9/22 and want to get together I will take you out for a drink! No pressure, I know many people want to maintain their anonymity and I get that. But if you do want to meet up then send a gmail to pearlharbr (hint hint).