I am struggling with the same thoughts. My H hasn't left, but says he sometimes thinks about it. It makes me crazy. I don't understand either. (hug)
If you find the answer let me know. We are sharing custody of our kids, but she isn't spending any quality time with them, picking them up late from daycare, etc. My kids want to come here full time, but my MC says I don't need to make life easy for my WAS right now.