Sorry you are hurting. Try to relax a bit, and don't make any decisions. You are swinging wildly. And, it would be false to say that W doesn't want to be married. She has told you quite clearly that she wants to remain married.
As for your efforts with W, I can't really comment as you didn't explain what you meant by "tried to fool around." But, I do question your timing. W seems to very much like relaxing to her soaps, it seems to be her nightly ritual. So, if you are trying to choose your time wisely, soap time is probably not the best time. Your reactiveness here isn't going to help things.
Detachment is good. Indeed, as I've said before, it is essential for true intimacy. Passionate Marriage is really worth a look.
