Ups and Downs

[Energizer Bunny]

The withdrawal isn't an issue of doubting feelings. I have made a conscious decision to love and to see things through. It’s more of a feeling of not wanting to deal with her. Every time we have a conversation that is not superficial, it is the same “It’s not working…I’m leaving” speech. These are the only times where we talk about anything significant. I don’t want R talks myself at this point.

A few family members that I talk to this about have asked me “how long to you put up with this,” or “how long do you keep going?” W has asked me to “just let her go” too.

Here’s my thought on this: If an outsider was trying to come into your house and destroy your family, cause irreparable damage to your children, and take your wife away from you how long would you fight to protect them? If I went to my W and said as part of my “ true path to happiness” I need to hurt our son do you think she would step aside? God I hope not! I would expect her to fight with everything she had to protect him.

I really see that her want of a D would be doing irreparable damage to an almost 8 year old (having been 8 when my parents D’d). I have made all of the changes that she has asked and she still claims that it won’t work. (she’s right…it won’t if she won’t let it)

My way of fighting at this point is letting go, but I still see it as my way of fighting. It is NOT, and nor will ever be, giving up.