It’s clear to me now that my detachment is becoming more and more of a withdrawal.
I went out Friday. Sent her a txt early in the afternoon that I wouldn’t make it home for dinner. Followed up at 7:30 and said, looks like I will be later than just missing dinner, I will call S7 before bed time. I had a good time, but still had lots of time about my whole sitch.
Funny, when I called to talk to S7 at 9:30 ish, W answered and asked where I had been. Just in a conversational way, but funny considering that she would freak out if I asked where she was. She seemed very interested.
Lots of distance over the weekend. I would to yard work, she was inside. I would watch TV with S, she would close herself in “Her” room (she openly refers to this as “her” room now…she had been calling it the extra bedroom for a while).
Saturday, she made a nice family dinner. We got a movie to watch together as a family. There was a little air of old times in the air as I ran to the store to get a couple of last minute dinner items and she was cooking in the kitchen. Just after dinner though, she got weird and went upstairs (took a bath, locked herself in “her” room again).
Later that night she came to me when S wasn’t around. It was clear something was bothering her and she wanted to talk. Our son came over and I played with him since I really didn’t want to get into THAT conversation again. I made sure to keep clear of her for the rest of the night. I REALLY didn’t want to have that conversation again. She had been drinking (again) and locked in her room after having family time. It was like the perfect storm. I successfully avoided it.
The next day we didn’t see each other much. We both spent time out of the house, but when we did come in contact, it was upbeat and chatty again. With that said, it was still strangely distant though.
I got sick last night. This is all getting too much for me. This is the longest that we have gone in separate rooms, no ring etc (6 weeks this time) and it seems like it will never end.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
