The point that I keep seeing is that regardless of how you label them (manners, not too much to expect X, Y or Z), they are still EXPECTATIONS. You are correct that, in a normal MR, it would be entirely proper to expect a thank you or some form of acknowledgment from one's spouse. BUT, and this is THE point, you aren't in a normal MR right now. Your W is something akin to an alien who is NOT going to behave like a normal, loving W. She just ISN'T.
So, the sooner you accept that fact, and it is a fact, the sooner you can get on with the business of detaching. You simply CANNOT have ANY expectations, no matter how small they are, when it comes to your MR. Until you get to that point, man, you are going to keep setting yourself up for further heartache and pain. It really is that simple.
Do things b/c they are the right thing to do FOR YOU, and no one else. DO NOT have ANY expectation of anything when you do them. NONE.
Not trying to sound harsh. Just wanting you to get on with it so you, and your M, have the possibility of getting better.
