But in terms of the whole 'agreeing philosophy' it's gotta sometimes backfire, right?, like if I acquiese 'ok, i can't stop you..' etc and don't try to use Retro or any other method as a way to delay/see if there's a chance to turn around...it might just make it easier for him and he goes ahead and does it. Then what? I agree and sign and the marriage ends?
Nothing I have ever seen "guarantees" success in turning a relationship around. NOTHING. Including agreeing, pressure, OR Retro. So, yes. It could "backfire" (your term, but not necessarily mine) Personally, I don't want to be in a relationship OR married to someone who doesn't want to be with me. They are FREE to leave. Their choice. I won't stop them. Wouldn't even consider it. As I said. Pressure doesn't work.
If you want to try "pressure" (Retro, fighting a divorce, etc.) then that is your decision. From my long experience and observation on this site and others, I haven't seen much success in that method. This site is filled with people STILL waiting. Some going on two years or more.
That being said. EVEN if you do agree with him on the divorce issue and he then does move forward on it, there is no reason you can't tell him that you have changed your mind and would like to try Retro before agreeing to what he wants.....
My experience on this issue is that you are going to try the "pressure" route first. Go ahead. I believe you are going to hear what you don't want to hear. Give it a go. Maybe he will. My take is that he won't. My take is that he thinks his mind is made up.
I also think that we need to exclude "another woman." Not "women", but a specific woman he is interested in. IF he does happen to have one, then you would be wasting your time. Some people can't face that there is that possibility. This site has a few that are in denial. I wouldn't exclude it in your case yet. It has the all the makings of being a real possibility. Very few men that I have observed or known over many years don't usually leave and want out without a "specific" other interest in their life. They will deny, lie, cover etc. Anything but tell you the truth. Most women who can't face it usually want to call it MLC or they are in depression. Men usually say their wife has stress or it's her hormones, or she is in depression or any number of excuses because they just can't face reality and the truth, no matter how much evidence to the contrary. The VAST majority are in an affair with another person. That is fact.
That's my opinion. Take it for what it is worth to you.
