Do you have any reason to believe there is an OW? Because this “legal advice” sounds sketchy as hell to me. Him going into work on the computer and coming out angry…..yelling at you about a CD player still being on…..refusal to go to counseling until legally separated…..very very strange, unless he has to prove it to someone else…….I could be wrong, but the behavior sounds familiar and my H did have an EA going on…..
My humble advice and do what you want with it, won’t offend me000…. Don’t give him the separation. I did nothing to make this easier on my H. I did what I needed to do to make it easier on me and our S. I was fortunate that my H also did right by our S….only once did he ever try to weasel out of his responsibilities to S, and I slammed his ass….never happened again. Truth be told, I think he felt guilty about it anyways, so that took care of itself.
In a nutshell, I say let him back out of counseling for now. But don’t help him get closer to ending the marriage.
I think you said you’ve been married 8 years, right? What is the threshold in your state for alimony? In my state it’s 7 years and of course, child support, you can figure that out with many different calculators you can find on line.
Did he get a lawyer? Or is this “legal advice” from a friend or a lawyer he knows? I think it sounds weird and off base.
And maybe I misunderstood….did he say he would DEFINITELY keep going to counseling if you agreed to a legal separation? If so maybe consider it then, if you trust him to keep going AND you think MC is helping.
What are your rights if you get the separation? Does he owe you alimony then or child support? Is he being supportive of S right now financially and emotionally? How do he and S get along normally, outside of the “go to your room and sleep” interaction?
