Perhaps it is simply teaching you that you are ok all by yourself
You know what Kat I think I reached that ephinany some time last night but thank you for reinforcing that message.
Quote:
Get yourself to where you are good again
This is exactly what I intend to do. As a start I sat down and wrote goodbye letters to all of Hs family last night. I was going to write them a few weeks ago when I found out OW was pregnant but at the time realised it might only be a knee jerk reaction. After much contemplation it is not that. I really do need to sever all ties in order to be able to move forward with this. In most of them I expressed my heartfelt love thanks for all the many happy memories they had provided me with and all all the support they originally gave me when this nightmare first began. I made sure to tell them that I will still emcourage the kids to see them all but as they are now old enough to make this decision for themselves I have to do what is right for me. The letter to my MIL was a little different to all the rest. She has shown me little empathyover all of this, unlike her sisters, and so it would have been hypocritical of me to write the same letter to her that I wrote to everyone else. However I did remain polite and courteous and wished her a long and happy life. In hers I said that I hoped someday God would forgive H for what he has done. I didn't put that I have forgiven him b/c that would be a lie and I'm not sure I will ever be able to.
In addition now that I've worked out for myself why I've bben so miserable since my bad experience of dating again I can deal with those issues and move on.
Bet you are all beginning to think I'm manic depressive (I have often wondered myself)
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
