Laurie, Thanks so much! It's a great comfort. You are so right about H's guilt putting M through a negative lens, and me as well I think. It's still hard to get my head around the fact that even if he's been so unhappy the past 3 yrs. (said "I can't believe you were happy" to me today), what about the previous 12 years?? I wish I had thought of asking him that today, but I just had a flashback of us for some reason to many years ago, & thought of it now. It tears my heart open that he wants to throw it all away. I don't know if I did that well today, was near tears a few times (but didn't). He was very calm, and that's worse really because he seem SO sure, & I was having a hard time keeping composed. Then he said "I told you I got that job didn't I?" I said no you didn't. So at least he'll have something else to occupy his mind now. He wants to start the dissolution asap, and be all collaborative & amicable. But I have to agree to it. Otherwise we're in "limbo" & it's giving me "false hope". Says he doesn't want to file a D, have it be all mean & nasty. I just kept saying, well, if it's want you really want I can't stop you. I guess if I do nothing & he's still hell bent on doing this he'll go ahead & file for something on his own. L says dissolution I'd have more control. I don't think I can write anything else coherently tonight. Thanks again Laurie & all you good people for the support. Hope everyone gets some rest tonight. LFA
