Hi LFH, I am so sorry about the lastest turn of events in your MR. I thought things were going to work out and it still can b/c I am like your mom....it's not over till it's over.
I kept seeing one thing pop up over and over again and that was how both of you are scared as who'd of thought it about getting hurt again! The two of you sound more like a couple who are afraid to walk down the church asile to get M rather than two people who have been in a MR all these years. Don't the two of you realize that as long as we love another person that there is always that "risk" of being hurt? Some people hardly get through a day that they aren't hurt a little bit. It depends on a lot of things but you know what I'm saying.
Isn't it so sad to know that there are two people here who declare they love each other but had rather break up a family and miss out on all those years of their children's lives rather than risk being hurt by the other one?! Stop and think about what you are saying!
I usually think it is good if a LBS can think of a future and moving forward with plans without the S, but it concerns me how you have seemed to have this attitude since the beginning that if she filed for a D that it would be okay b/c you knew you would not have any trouble getting another woman. I don't know....I hope you are right. I just think it is so sad that the two of you do not see how your love for each other and your children deserve to take the risk of being hurt. What if the "risk" paid off? Why do the two of you have to look from the negative side?
Anyway, I hope that something will change her mind and that you will give this more time and work. You said you felt like you were starting back to May, but when you think of a period of four months compaired with the rest of your lives.......
BTW, I haven't been to that retreat, but I have heard great things about it and it would certainly be worth the effort if it could change hearts, don't you think? If she would agree, I think you should go for it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
