Whatever world that is, it lies far ahead. But its outline, its adumbration, is clear in the landscape, and upon this one can actually hope we will find our way.
From Arctic Dreams by Barry Lopez.
I usually throw away my fortune cookie. I dont trust what they are made from and dont really want to learn Chinese. However, the other day out of curiosity I cracked it open and my fortune read:
"A secret admirer will show you affection soon."
LOL. I have been dealing with Mrs McQ weirdness for quite some time now. I have never been able to put two and two together, nor actually really tried to add it up, just dealt with it and went on living, miserably at times. However, when someone came up to me to ask, "what is going on between your wife and so-n-so," that was the straw that broke the camels back. Several months ago I was writing her a Dear John letter. I never gave it to her. I just dropped the rope and began walking away. I never confronted so-n-so. Didnt feel I needed to and really didnt care to hear or find out what was going on. She wasnt very convincing when questioned, and if they really were interested in eachother, so be it. I find it more of a joke than a reason to go off the deep end.
With that, I found myself moving on with my life, happily and began looking at things that I hadnt before in my narrow focused routine. I didnt expect what would happen next. Stupid fortune cookies.
Socially interacting with the girl from the salon was interesting, however, we have little in common other than we are interested in each others chests. And we all know where that goes. It hasn't, however on the home front, Mrs. McQ has become suspicious and curious. My pheromone scent must have changed with my new outlook. Now be it, this has only been going on for a little under two months, she has shown an interest in me that she hasnt in several years. She now is telling me about her day and is asking me about mine. Making dinner together and wanting to sit and talk. She is curious about where I am off to when I go out, and has asked to do things together with the kids. Good for her. "Whatever world that is, it lies far ahead." I wasnt looking for or expecting immediate reconcillation, only sanity. "One can actually hope we will find our way."
However, my female friend seems to be more upset about my interactions. Maybe it is because I told her about it and not my wife. But I never expected her to be so interested in what I am thinking and doing, being bombarded by text messages, emails and a few phone calls, leading up to being asked out on a lunch date. I declined, but only to find out that she has been attracted to me for some time and that her marriage is in dire straits. Then I get a text from her that reads, "when you gonna sex me up?" woah. Steve's life is about to get interesting.
As this plays out, I expect Mrs. McQ to be wanting to move off of the couch. But I dont know, she's still a nutcase. It seems I am at the fork in the road, so to say, I have to put some serious thought into how I act and interact in the immediate future. And with that I am not sure what steps to take. I am not one to journal on this site, usually just come here to find out y'alls breast size and drinking habits, LOL, but I think in the next few days I am going to have a some questions. I am really going at screwing things up.
