Just keep in mind, men need sex to feel loved. You can't forget the other side though. Women need to feel loved to have sex. Lack of sex, not feeling love. JMO
Time can be an ally. It can also be an excuse, a chance for WAW to catch her breath before the next round.
The pari-menopausal loss of sexual interest is possible, but the more likely culprit is the process itself - to be intimate means admitting you into her world in a way she thinks she wants you out of. An affair is another. In my sitch I hit the trifecta - menopause, "I'm done," AND affair.
Right now though, sex is the least of your concerns. 30 days to arouse her interest means major DB kung-fu, all under what will surely be a very gimlet eye. So start to roll.
My wife said that her main issue was that she didnt want to have sex with me...no sexual feelings..she said she likes it when i hug her and that it feels good but it feels like a friend and not a lover.
This is basically the same crap my wife said to me. It turned out that she was "seeing" someone else. Sounds like this could be the case for you too. Be careful!
Do be careful. I read constantly on here that the W must be having an affair. I never came close to having an affair but had lost almost all sexual desire for my H mostly because a) I felt deprived in other areas of the R/alienated from H and b) I had lost respect for him (for deferring to me, blaming me, and not TCB).
AAK, when you mention TCB, taking care of business: can you be more specific.
In your case, there was no affair but there was no sexual desire.
What specific areas were you alienated in the relationship? What did your husband do or what was his behavior like that contributed to that problem?
You lost respect for him for deferring to you? I'm not sure what that means, is that the same as blaming you? What was he blaming you for? Was he being abusive in this respect?
The TCB is very interesting, what wasn't being done.
This could all prove very helpful to any men who are reading this and are trying to determine why their wives have lost sexual desire for them?
You lost sexual desire for your husband completely? Were there times when you were fighting with him/arguing that you did feel sexually attracted? Did you lose all sexual desire or was it just your husband that turned you off? Did you feel frustrated in this area with your husband/
What did your husband do to correct these issues? What caused you to gain sexual desire for him again if that is where you are at right now? What specific behaviors & changes did he make that made you feel attracted to him again in that way?
Seriously this is good stuff, alot of LBS's on this forum need to hear this stuff and the details associated with it.
Yes, alive I am very interested in your response...
as some backfill with my wife (and im sure applies to others since it seems like everyone has variances of the same story). My wife claims to have no sexual desire for me...but does desire to have sex...(translation i want to have sex just not with you...touching)
she also says that she wants passion, intimacy (the MC said she is not capable of it)...when i mentioned there are ways to recreate passion, she said, "when did we ever have it?" I had to remind her we were pretty passionate before the wedding and things seemed to slow down after
TR Rose T-10 M-6 H-39- W-36- S-4 D-1 Bomb 4/09 Blow up 8/09 1st thread 2nd thread 3rd thread
My wife claims to have no sexual desire for me...but does desire to have sex...(translation i want to have sex just not with you...touching)
she also says that she wants passion, intimacy (the MC said she is not capable of it)...when i mentioned there are ways to recreate passion, she said, "when did we ever have it?" I had to remind her we were pretty passionate before the wedding and things seemed to slow down after
Oh, well that explains it. You're married to MY wife.
As you see, there's a clear pattern in these things. So don't take offense when people press you on the question of her possible interest in another (or, as my WAW liked to put it, her "distraction"). I resisted the inquiry, too -- so imagine my surprise when I learned that @robx and @Puppy Dog Tails and @everyone else who asked "is there OM?" were validated by WAW herself.
