New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Journaling...Yesterday SAT, I spent my whole day clearing weeds from the backyard. I thought I had a jungle growing out there. My wife used to do a lot of garden stuff. I have neglected to do it after she left 14 months ago. It was good being out there, staying busy.

This morning I woke up at 4:30AM. couldn't sleep. Thought about my W and boys. I went to the gym at 6:00AM and had a good workout to keep my mind off being alone. I'm going to church this morning for some good spiritual uplift and to be with other people. Later today, I'm having dinner with a co-worker and his wife. GALing, being social, staying busy. Gotta do it.

I keep thinking that 14 months have gone by and I'm still doing my best to DB. A few of my friends say I am walking too much on eggs and not being firm enough with my W. Maybe I am. Thay tell me to put an end to all this and start being in charge of my life again. I keep thinking I AM in charge of my life. But I haven't given up on my W. I am not mad at her at all. I love her even more. I understand why she left 14 months ago. I worked on myself to be whole again. It is a work in progress. But I still don't feel it's time to move on. This whole DB technique has changed me for the best. I have faith it will eventually bring changes to my W as well. Patience, love,and endurance are my watchwords. One day I will prevail.

JR